Before I start this post, I am issuing a disclaimer. I am going to be discussing breasts. More specifically, I am going to be discussing bra sizes. I have deliberated about how much information to share, and whether or not sharing my actual bra size is too much information. This is basically a warning to you, that if you are scared of breasts (I’m thinking about one particular gay male friend in particular) you might want to stop reading.
This particular item has survived two birthday lists. In other words, it has taken me almost two years to get around to actually doing it. I have never had a bra fitting in my life. When it came time to start wearing a bra, I seem to remember my mum just sort of guessing what size I was and buying me a bra that seemed to fit. Obviously, over the years, I have changed shape rather a lot, and recently (in the last couple of years), I have put on rather a lot of weight. That’s not a situation I am particularly happy with, but that’s a post and a challenge for another time.
Basically, the crux of the matter is that I have been wearing a 36C bra for some time. I have known for ages that it wasn’t right, and I’m not proud of the fact that I never went to get myself measured, but there is no point denying that it was the case. I have bought slightly bigger bras more recently, but the majority of my bras have been 36C.
~ Spoiler: I’m not ~
So last week, I finally made the appointment at Debenhams to have a bra fitting. I was rather apprehensive, because I didn’t really know what it entailed. I wasn’t particularly excited about getting topless in front of a stranger. But in I went, and she asked me to take my top off and leave my bra on. She came in and measured me, didn’t judge me when I said that I had never been measured, and managed not to laugh in my face when I said I was wearing a 36C.
Then she measured me, and declared that I was a 36F. At this point I had to resist the urge to laugh in her face, because I literally had no idea that this was going to come out of her mouth. I was thinking that I would be a DD, or an E at the most. I hadn’t considered F. But the lady went and got me a 36F bra to try on, and then decided that she hadn’t got it quite right. She revised her previous size, and decided on… 34GG.
This is one of the most ludicrous things that anyone has ever said to me. Ever. I was considering putting it out on Twitter that I was going for a fitting, and getting people to guess how far out I was. I didn’t, in the end, but I don’t think anyone would have guessed that I was that far out.
But, there’s a slight twist in the tale. I can’t afford right now to spend £38 on the bra that the Debenhams lady was trying to sell me. But, I was out doing some shopping for my best friend’s birthday party, and a bra was very much on my shopping list. I needed a decent bra, and the one I was wearing, as well as not being nearly big enough, wasn’t going to cut it. So I needed to buy one, and Primark is much more within my budget.
The problem is that Primark only goes up to an F cup. (I know, right? Totally discriminated against.) So, I decided that the best thing to do would be to buy a 34” bra, and go as high in cup size as Primark would allow. I was already wearing a ridiculously undersized bra, so I might as well buy one that was a few sizes closer to what I should have been wearing. I had to go for a 34E in the end, because there were no Fs to be found.
I’ve been wearing this bra for a few days, and it’s all wrong. Of course the cup size is wrong, I spill out of it (that’s probably the too much information bit). But the band size is wrong too. It leaves horrible marks, and starts to really hurt after I’ve been wearing it a while.
This leads me to the conclusion that the Debenhams lady got it right the first time. I have a 36” underbust measurement, which takes me down to an F cup. 36F is still highly silly, but it’s a bit less silly than a GG. I’ve been wearing a 36” bra for years, and never had any such problems, other than the double-boob/overspill problem.
At some point I’d like to go into a different shop and see what they say. I’m also investigating the best underwear for the well-endowed lady. My sister’s hilarious response when I told her was “No more cheap Primark bras for you, they don’t do hammocks!”
22. Have a bra fitting